"The Vault" Review: A Subpar Heist Film w/ Lipstick

“The Vault” is every trope of a heist film that you’ve seen before rolled into one, beautifully shot, pretentious piece of work. I don’t think it’s worth watching because you can imagine everything that happens just from hearing the synopsis. Sometimes, I think Netflix should use its money to combat world hunger the way it wastes money picking up certain content.

If you read IMDB’s synopsis of the film it says the film “follows a genius engineering graduate who is interested in the Bank of Spain's safe.” That’s pretty lazy writing from someone who doesn’t care about the film. Maybe, one of the writers? The film is about Thom (Freddie Highmore), a Cambridge engineering student who solved some oil spill issue that gives us a montage of a bunch of oil companies coming after him to work with them. Thom isn’t interested in the money. Instead, he’s interested in Walter’s (Liam Cunningham) offer to crack the world’s most impenetrable safe in order to get back something that was stolen from Walter. You know, the one offer our hero gets after receiving an anonymous text, following instructions and winding up in a bar sitting across from the mature, seasoned actor who will give this thing some gravitas!

We already met Walter’s daughter (I think it’s his daughter, they elude to their closeness) Lorraine (Astrid Berges-Frisbey) in luring Thom to Walter. She’s the one who wears a wig, pick-pockets people and will likely be Thom’s love interest. So we need the rest of the gang of thieves: Klaus (Axel Stein) is the whitty, chip eating tech guy, Simon (Luis Tosar) is the gruff muscle, and James (Sam Riley) is the “don’t trust anyone” good at his job guy that probably likes Lorraine. Everybody here? Check! Getting into this vault is going to take some work.

First, we’ll have to do some reconnaissance! The type that’s never been done before, but wet behind the ears Thom will have to be on the ground to do something smart to build his character. With new information, we need to strike at an opportune time. How about during the World Cup Finals? Of course, great diversion and way to put a ticking clock in the film. I’m just sticking that in there in the same way writers…wait, I have to list five names!? Writer’s Rafa Martinez, Andres Koppel, Borja Santaolalla, Michel Gazambide, and Rowan Athale inserted the intense looking, smart but soon to be outsmarted Gustavo (Jose Coronado) as the head of security. However, with five writers on the job, it makes sense as to why this ensemble of characters lack depth.

The film has lots of great music. There is the music that we hear when someone is thinking through something, when danger  or a near death experience is about to take place, and the absence of music when a joke is told to break the suspense of an intense moment. Ultimately, everything that makes this film tick, we’ve seen before. Thom isn’t really that smart, he just sees things that other people don’t, but likely would if they just thought a little bit more. 

I can only imagine the money spent on the production design, location and cast for this film. It looks extravagant and like the best American heist films from the early 2000s. It even cuts together like one too. It has Freddie Highmore doing his best “if Dr. Shaun Murphy wasn’t autistic impression”. Unfortunately, it’s a pig with lipstick. I’d only recommend this if you’re extremely bored, have exhausted all of your streaming options and enjoy the rhythm of heist films.

Rating: D

"Mariah Carey's Magical Christmas Special Review

My wife and I debated why Mariah Carey’s Christmas album is the one we remember from back in the day, above all the others. It was a different time. You went out to buy an album because you couldn’t download it, so choosing an album was intentional. She was hot at the time. Everyone was talking about it or playing it on the radio. It was really good. There were quite a few reasons. With her latest, “Mariah Carey’s Magical Christmas Special”, shooting to No. 1 on Apple TV+ in more than 100 countries, it’s obvious she’s still got it! Here’s why:

First and foremost, the music is dope. I’m not just talking about her voice and the classic Christmas songs we all can sing along with her but the instrumentation and composition of it. We turned on the home theater speakers and watched a concert. I mean, if you’re going to do a Christmas special it should sound great right?

The special has a loosely written plot and storyline in which jolly old St. Nick needs Mariah to help save the Christmas spirit. Tiffany Haddish is the fireside narrator of the story. We see Mariah the mother with her children at home and then the diva and star we know once she gets to the North Pole to make it happen. The juxtaposition of the two roles makes her somehow more relatable. (I’m actually being serious about that.) The best part is that there is less emphasis on story and it’s just a way to transition into songs. It features Ariana Grande, Jennifer Hudson, Billy Eichner, Snoop Dogg, and Jermaine Dupri on different songs. Misty Copeland also visits the North Pole to grace us with her skills. So the talent and old school nods are there.

The production value is outstanding! The set design is elaborate. Production designer Julio Himede brings his years of experience with MTV award shows and comes to work, creating a winter wonderland in various settings. Looking at the frame, you know they’re not out in the middle of the woods, but the set design looks so real and detailed that you get lost in it. The costume and makeup team deserves a hand for the same reason. (Sans the one Spider-Man looking outfit she dons in the beginning.)

Ultimately, the special is a mixture of feel good music, holiday visuals, and a positive vibe we need to cap off the year. Apparently, Mariah Carey has been called the Queen of Christmas. As someone who got dragged into watching the special by his wife and wound up singing along, that title may be well deserved! 

Rating: A

Empire: "Without A Country" Review

Empire
Season 2 Ep. 2
“Without A Country”

Building off of “The Devils are Here”, it’s all about set up in this episode. Empire is laying the foundation of the warring factions in the Lyon household. We’ll give it another episode or two, but the pink elephant in the room is the clutter of distracting cameos and slow brew storyline. This could be, however, the set up to an incredibly dramatic face off or plummeting story. We’ll see.

The episode starts off with Lucious still in jail and is the king of the jungle, fresh off his Frank Gathers kill. His medication has been mysteriously misplaced so he’s showing signs of fatigue in this episode. He looked like he was seizing up trying to rhyme in the yard. This week’s major feature was Chris “Ludacris” Bridges and he was doing too much in his first scene as the overbearing Officer McKnight, but came around as the episode went on.

Jamal meets with dear old dad in prison to give him the scoop on what’s happening with the company. The cameos were cool last season because each episode had a new artist guest star, but that was it. This season there are so many cameos I can’t keep up with everyone in their bit roles. However, Andre Royo steps in as Thirsty Rawlings, a shady lawyer who seems to have an interest in being Lucious’s lawyer. Royo seems like a good casting choice and an interesting addition to the drama.

Never the one to roll over, Cookie goes to the old recording studio (you remember the one where they “tried” to kill Jamal) to set up shop. Booboo Kitty is already there trying to mold an artist, but now that the alliance is no longer needed Cookie kicks her out. The studio is meager in comparison to the Empire and is visually setting up the David vs. Goliath companies through the settings of the show.

Jamal is stepping into a zone as the sensitive leader. He still isn’t fit for the throne because he’s too sensitive for the ring, but Jussie Smollet is doing his thing as an actor. He’s molding Jamal into a character that you root for, because his heart is in the right place as an artist and family member. Hakeem still desires the crown and tries to put together a three woman group to prove his A&R abilities, while leaking his album online to shake things up at Empire.

Lucious managed to record another banger for the streets behind bars. Was it just me or did it seem like Lucious was about to get got when he opened that closet door? Maybe I’ve seen too many prison shows. The “Hustle & Flow” reminiscent throwback in the prison was dope though!

Andre is going to go crazy if you don’t let him back in the fold Lucious! After meeting his father at the prison, Andre got the cold shoulder. Honestly, this is all too familiar as Lucious continues to use his son’s blind ambition and desire to please him to do his bidding...which I’m sure will happen next week.

Lyon Dynasty, Cookie’s record label, is a nice wink at the tv series this one happens to be similar to. Here’s to hoping episode 3 shakes things up a bit. As the ratings have slipped slightly, it needs a pick me up!

Cookie Crumbs:

Andre hasn’t shown his crazy yet this season, but I have a feeling it’s coming soon. Lucious’s emotional manipulation of his son’s is starting to age.
Hakeem is showing himself to have a mind of his own, which will likely be an advantage for him down the line. Leaking his album to the world was a bold move.
Jamal is going to have to step aside once pops gets out. That, or Lucious is going to play puppet master.

Best Empire Tweets This Week:

@Jax_Fab_Life THIS!!!! @leedanielsent @terrencehoward @EmpireFOX #Empire #empirefox pic.twitter.com/wnwTP5jmDN

— Turkesha McIvy, MPA (@Naturalbabydol) October 1, 2015

#EmpireFOX #EmpireSeason2 pic.twitter.com/zHAKAN70f5

— brosia marie (@marie_babygirll) October 2, 2015

#EmpireFOX pic.twitter.com/bQ42NR7yfP

— brosia marie (@marie_babygirll) October 2, 2015

East Los High: "La Virgen de East Los High" Review

Check out East Los High on Hulu!

East Los High

Season 3 Ep. 1

“La Virgen De East Los High”

The much anticipated season 3 of “East Los High” starts off right where Season 2 left us, yelling at the TV screen! Your favorite cast is back with some fresh faces. Most importantly, “East Los” has now entered a new realm with Emmy nominations under its belt, a seasoned cast, and a clear vision for where it’s heading.

“La Virgen De East Los High” opens with Ceci (Danielle Vega) answering Pedro’s question (Rene Alvarado) with a yes. We all probably threw up our hands and debated shutting off the TV, but that was followed with Camila (Vannessa Vasquez) seated with her “keep it on the DL boo” Jocelyn (Andrea Sixtos) and fresh cuts on her arm. Last season’s incest/molestation reveal was a shocker, and took the show to a serious level. Nick (Ray Diaz) is dealing with the fallout from Remy’s (Robert Paul Taylor) death.

The episode jumps forward a month and doesn’t spell out what we’ve missed. Ceci gets fitted for her dress with her bomb squad girls: Filli (Vivian Lamolli), Tiffany (Ashley Campuzano), and Jazmine (Olivia ‘Cachi’ Gonzales). I still kind of question why she hangs with high school girls when she clearly is a couple years removed from them.? The bomb squad girls make it clear that they’re family though, even equipping her with a jacket.

Camila attempts to tell Gina (Alexandra Rodriguez) the truth about their father. Gina thwarts her semi-admission. Camila finds herself face to face with her father in the school parking lot. While her father acts like he doesn’t remember molesting her, Camila makes it clear that she’ll kill him if he touches Gina. 

It’s clear that Jacob (Gabriel Chavarria) is still a thorn in Pedro’s side as Ceci avoids Jacob at school. She stops by Tio Pepe’s to pick up food, and has an awkward conversation with Jacob as Pedro enters the restaurant. Pedro puts on the machismo performance and throws a couple low blows Jacob’s way and proceeds to make it clear that Ceci is his girl physically by wrapping his arm around her on the way out. Insecure much?

Later that night, the bomb squad surprises Ceci with a bachelorette party fitted with a cute dance number, but we all knew it would probably come back to bite her. Camila and Jocelyn have a moment in the powder room, letting us know that Jocelyn still has a soft spot for Camila that's likely mutual. As the two leave the party to go home, we see Pedro creeping outside of the dance studio, watching Ceci. 

Nick gets a call that the Vegas deal is off, which sends him back home. Camila and Jocelyn are in the midst of getting "reacquainted" when Nick busts in on them, sending him off in a huff. Ceci returns home to Pedro asking how things went. After telling him a lie, he beats her, but Ceci comes at him with a knife to end the episode with on a cliffhanger.

East Los Addict Geek Out: (This is where I get to go a bit deeper for the episode.)

• Rene Alvarado gets the acting salute on this episode. After seeing Ceci in the dance studio, Pedro looks like a lost boy in his thoughts sitting on the couch when Ceci comes home. I gave him a shout out for his performance and character arch last season, and his crazy this season is full throttle. He truly appears to have issues, and you can see them on his face.
• The budget has gone up for season 3! With new locations, a beefed up cast, and a clear advancement in cinematography/camera moves, “East Los” seems to be in its zone and on a grander scale. 
• Camila has matured, and now that the truth is out you can tell that her past is sitting on her shoulders. Vannessa Vasquez has had some time to live with the character in between seasons and it shows.
• I didn't know who Chachi Gonzales was until I was looking at various ELH YouTube videos. Come to find out she's kind of a big deal (almost a million subscribers on YouTube for starters...can I borrow a couple..hundred...thousand Chachi? LOL), and it looks like she'll be talking a lot more this season! So her fans should be excited about that!

Empire: "Sins of the Father" Review

“Empire” 

Season 1 Ep. 10

Sins of the Father

After Andre’s dramatic breakdown in “Unto the Breach,” I wasn’t quite sure how this week’s episode would unfold. It’s clear that the family had known about Andre’s disorder since his first incident in college. Of course Cookie had no idea due to her seventeen years of incarceration. Yet the opening scene showed how much the family (albeit minus Lucious) cares for their brother/son/husband. 

There was a heavy handed  PSA in the therapy scene that I didn’t care for. I know Lee Daniels has been quoted saying that with "Empire" he wanted to "blow the lid off of homophobia in my community” and I think this is the approach that was used here with Bi-polar disorder. Cookie’s line about it being “white people problems” was so early ‘90s that it lost some of the emotional appeal to me. Yes, she’s been locked up for a while, but I think we’re above that level of that type of scripted ignorance. Jennifer Hudson and Mary J. Blige had brief cameos almost not worth mentioning but they are both amazing talents.

Cookie and Malcolm’s relationship is starting to kick off strong after last week. As much as Malcolm likes to tout his principles, messing with Cookie is going to come back to bite him. At the end of the day, “Empire” is about Lucious Lyons and I don’t see Malcolm lasting through next week’s two hour finale if it came down to it. 

Camila actually seems to care for Hakeem, or she has a really good scheme planned that requires her saying all the right things. After Lucious offered her hush money and sent her to the airport never to return, she vowed to come back. We’ll see how that turns out.

The majority of the episode focused on Lola. Yeah, Lola. You remember, the little girl whose paternity I’ve questioned since she showed up in “Out, Damned Spot!”. Just as Jamal was starting to write songs about Lola and consider having her live with him, Olivia comes back in town with a crazy ex holding her hostage. Props to Raven Symone’s performance in making us believe he was a scary guy, because outside of some tats he really didn’t do much the entire episode that would cause us to be alarmed. 

After an embittered Vernon leads Olivia and Loco to the Lyon’s estate, crazy pulls a gun on the family, which gets Lucious open and honest. He claims paternity for Lola in an effort to save his son. We’ll see if it’s true or not, but this came as a shock to the family (You guys really thought Jamal was the daddy?) and has created an obvious rift in the family.

Cookie Crumbs:

• Lucious’ enemies are too many to count right now. Anika, Beretti, Vernon, Jamal, Cookie, Andre, and so on. I’m hoping he takes some kind of a hit in the next episode because his character has earned it. 
• That’s a wrap on Lola! At least in my opinion. She’s served her purpose in the storyline, but she could appear throughout Season 2.
• Was it just me, or did you notice the soap opera-esque music that played throughout this episode to build tension? Music has been the core of this show, and I hope they don’t bring that sappy element into it. 

You can buy the hit soundtrack here:

Best Empire Memes This Week:

ROTF LMAO!#Empire #EmpireFOX pic.twitter.com/xQFG3ZyAMD”

— Reign (@Coldaseyce) March 13, 2015

I think I'm onto something! #EmpireFOX @EmpireFOX pic.twitter.com/TnTBg3rt4Z

— Lou Sputhole (@GummyFredo) March 13, 2015

😭😭“@HoSitDown: In the case of Lola, Jamal, you are NOT the father #Empire #EmpireFOX @EmpireWriters pic.twitter.com/ERlTHvyb1a”

— Nikes & V-Necks (@ShortyMamba24) March 13, 2015

Pretty Little Liars: "Bloody Hell" Review

Pretty Little Liars

Season 5.22

“Bloody Hell”

Previously on Pretty Little Liars…

A went on a rampage!!! Spencer, Ali, and Cyrus/Hank Mahoney took the biggest hits, while Aria’s nosiness may have saved her brother’s life.  It is official, Ashley and Ted are engaged. Unfortunately the madness that is Emily and Talia continues, and Hanna had a face-off with Ali. This episode was fast, furious, and filled with clues, so let’s get to it!!!

Aria, Emily and Spencer visited Ali in prison, giving her watered down apologies and the details on Mona’s plan to stage her death and bring A down.  Ali is very angry about Mona’s “failed” plan and tells Aria that she will have to tell her lawyers about Mike’s involvement in order to save herself.  Aria talks Alison into waiting on this in order for Aria to find Cyrus to get some information on A.

Mrs. Hastings tells Spencer to pack her bags for London because her plane leaves in a few hours.  Mrs. H finally swallowed her pride and asked Wren to get Spencer an interview at Oxford.  When the girls come over to say goodbye to Spencer, Aria hires Mrs. Hasting to be her attorney for $1.  What could have been a ridiculous scene was made cute due to the fact that Aria was dressed like an innocent little girl. 

After hearing Aria’s questions about a nameless person (Mike) who has withheld information from the police in a murder case, Aria’s new attorney tells her this is a very serious crime. No Kidding!?!?!

Emily rehearses for the Glass Slipper pageant and Miss Fields is very talented indeed. Talia, who has quit her job at the Brew and separated from her husband, gains Emily’s sympathy and is offered to stay with Em for a few days while her mom is out of town.  Emily please give yourself some time in between relationships!!! You are constantly choosing unavailable, closeted, unsure of who they are women.  Hmmm…that’s probably because you don’t have time to know who you are because A is constantly terrorizing you!!! However, I really really loved your dance routine this week.

Aria and Hanna visit Hank Mahoney (Cyrus) in a hospital burn unit.  Whoops, he had an A accident that has left him incapacitated! But when the girls ask him for his contact he writes this: 

Which reminds me of this: 

After the girls leave the burn unit, A does this:

Spencer’s interview at Oxford was going so well…until A showed up and all the blood oozed out of her handbag in front of the professor!!!!!

Finally Hanna goes to visit Ali in prison and to my surprise it is Ali who gives the apology! Now we know that Ali is the Master PLL, but I must admit that this most genuine apology I have ever seen or heard from Miss DiLaurentis. But I’ve still got my eye on you Ali!!!

Not much good news for the PLLs in this episode.  Well, at least  Andrew got a kiss. He is so suspicious though…

…and Ashley is officially engaged and happy for now.  

Next week will not be so happy for Mama Marin, because it looks like Hanna is going to jail! Until next time Liars, remember to keep your friends close and your secrets closer… and check out  my Tumblr blog, “A Liar’s Secrets” at cdjack11cdjack11.tumblr.com

Empire: "Our Dancing Days" Review

“Empire”

Season 1 Ep. 7

Our Dancing Days

Well this episode should have been called “At Last” because of the truths that were told.  For “Empire”, this was subdued, filler built off of "Out, Damned Spot". Every TV series has these slowed down episodes, but it’s also going to ramp things back up.

Looking for investors in the IPO, Lucious throws a big party to exhibit Empire Records. Prior to the party, Lucious faints and is hospitalized due to the experimental drugs he’s been taking. As he is rushed to the hospital, Lucious has to make a decision between Cookie and Anika as to who will ride with him. He chooses Anika after a few seconds of struggle, and even though she’s hurt Cookie stays ride or die for Lucious. Honestly, the memes that came out of this scene were hilarious!

When you find out Sallie Mae took your Tax return #EmpireFOX pic.twitter.com/cKplvoqJeg

— Petty LaBelle (@HoSitDown) February 19, 2015

Prior to the investor exhibition, Anika drugs Elle, likely to try and sabotage Cookie. Jamal and Hakeem take to the stage as the headliners instead of Elle. During the performance, Lucious’s ALS symptoms stirs up and he looses his voice. He then asks Cookie to give the closing speech to the investors over Anika and Andre. Cookie does what Cookie does, and gives a fantastic, from the heart speech. Lucious finally confesses his love for Cookie out loud and in front of Anika by saying “I love you Cookie” right after the speech. 

With so many health issues manifesting with Lucious, he calls a meeting amongst his family after the exhibition. He informs the family that he has ALS, and each react in their own way. Andre’s Bi-polar disorder flairs up in an odd, “don’t ya’ll think this is more than someone being upset at the news?” kind of display. Hakeem and Jamal both seem to care more about their father’s health, unlike Andre who was more worried about the IPO and all of the work that he’s done. 

The biggest moment of all, was when Lucious and Cookie got some alone time after the family announcement. Cookie was obviously effected by Lucious’s announcement and told him he has to fight it because “I can’t lose you twice”. Lucious wanted to take advantage of the moment and the two finally got back together...just as Anika comes back in from a trip.

WARNING: I screamed A LOT but I was pressed for this to happen 😭😭😭 #EmpireFOX pic.twitter.com/zlrZuodJOS

— Nichelle (@Nichelle___) February 19, 2015

Cookie Crumbs:

• Lucious finally showed some fatherly love to Jamal during this episode. He expressed interest in Jamal’s failed relationship with Michael, and his (we’re still waiting to find out) little girl.
• Anika drugging Elle is sure to come to light down the road, and when it does, there’s gonna be smoke in the city!
• The Lucious/Cookie hook up was bound to happen since episode one, but of course this will stir the drama for the Cookie vs. Anika fight.

"Over A Barrel" Review

Pretty Little Liars
Season 5.16
“Over A Barrel"

Previously on Pretty Little Liars....Aria was afraid Ezra would find out that she had written a secret letter to his ex, Jackie, that gained her admission to Talmadge College. Emily was pining over Paige leaving and not communicating with her.  Spencer and Caleb were sleuthing around Rosewood to destroy A’s planted evidence from Mona’s murder. Hanna walked in on her mother’s hook-up with Jason.  This week, they pick up right where they left off.

Aria buys coffee at Ezra’s new Brew, and a copy of her letter to Jackie is printed on the receipt!!! Aria continues to worry about how she will break the news to Ezra as she follows mysterious messages to meet Holbrook all over town.  Of course she never meets the shady detective, but  thanks to A she does manage to have lunch with Jason and eventually deliver flowers from young Mr. Dilaurentis to Ashley’s house.

Emily decides to pack up the remnants of Paige’s belongings that were left in her car. She is still hurting over the break-up, but I don’t think she will be in pain for long.  Even though her work relationship with Talia has had a choppy start, in this episode, Talia seems to want to smooth the waters with our little barista.  Did anyone else think that her question to Em about Ezra’s buns was testing the waters to find out if Emily was into   guys or girls?  Personally, I hope Talia is just what Emily needs to get over Paige for good!!!

This week’s most intriguing moments belonged to Hanna, Caleb, and Spencer.  Hanna wasn’t the only one who surprised Ashley by coming home early.  Pastor Ted came back from his mission trip to Peru with the intention to build a family in Rosewood.  After gaining Hanna’s approval, he proposed to Ashley with a gorgeous ring inside a peanut butter cookie that was similar to the one they shared when they first met.  Ashley’s response, “ I need a minute to think”, was definitely not what Ted expected.  However, I loved, loved, loved the way Hanna was able to soothe his fears and give unconditional love and support to her mom as well.  Why do all the good ones fall for the liars and cheaters?  Hopefully Ashley will tell Ted the truth, wedding bells will still ring, and Hanna will finally get the decent father figure she deserves.

Detectives SpenCa were back in action following a LoJack alert from Mona’s computer that led them to a storage facility across town.  When Spencer and Caleb arrive they run into one of their teachers, Mrs. Horowitz, who alerts Spencer to the horrible smell coming from unit # 1017.  She told Spence that she once saw a blond girl hurrying away, but did not see her face.  Caleb makes a shim to break their teacher’s lock and they crawl through the air ducts to 1017. (I can see it now... Horowitz will be a witness for the prosecution when the Liars go on trial!) Once inside they find Mona’s bloody clothes in plastic bags, denatured alcohol, antacid tablets, and water beside a large barrel.  SpenCa deduces that Mona is either preserved or has turned to sludge inside the barrel.  After wiping the room clean of any fingerprints they return home and decide that Caleb should find out who rented the unit.  Of course it was rented to none other than Hanna Marin.  Looks like Ali won’t be the only PLL locked in a jail cell.  A has decided it is Hanna’s turn to be tortured.

In the final A scene, the black-hooded one enters Gabriel Holbrook’s office and logs on to his Rosewood PD account.  Who is that masked man/woman....ShadyBrook, Toby, Mike, Paige, or another A Team member? My guess is Holbrook because they have the key, the password and know where the caramels are stashed, along with some other interesting things in that desk! Whoever it is, they sure do love candy!

Hopefully, we will get the answers to these questions and more before the end of season 5.  Until next time Liars, remember to keep your friends close and your secrets closer!!!

"Through A Glass, Darkly" Review

Pretty Little Liars

Season 5.14

“Through A Glass, Darkly"

It’s been three months since Mona Vanderwaal was viciously attacked in her home on Thanksgiving Day.  The Winter Premiere picks up right after Mona’s memorial service and starts with a boom, or shall I say “the slap heard round the world”, as Alison appears to offer her condolences to Mona’s mother.  If Ali wasn’t already crazy, Mrs. V slapped a few screws loose for sure before Hanna leads her away.  

Hanna has become close to Mrs. V and receives two important gifts that belonged to Mona. Bungee, the stuffed dog, and  the book Terminations by Henry James. I can’t wait to see what clues are held within each one! Finally, someone else (besides us) confirms that Hannah is playing dumb. Thanks to Mona in flashback, we know that Mona thought Hanna was “smarter than Spencer Hastings”. 

Hands down the best scenes for me, were those with Mrs Grundwald. She meets Hanna at Mona’s crypt to use her gift of insight to shed light on who Mona’s attacker was, and delivers lines almost as creepy as her eyes: “Each one hated the other because each one feared the other…each one knew something about the other.” Who is the other one Mrs. G? (My likely suspects Mike, Paige, CeCe, the girl at the zoo with the distorted face, or the girl who was with Mona behind the frosted glass at the hair salon.) 

Spencer learns why she was arrested for Bethany’s murder. Jessica DiLaurentis gave a statement to Detective Wilden that she saw Spencer in her backyard with a blond girl dressed in Ali’s clothes on the night Alison went missing. Wilden hid the statement in his files to no doubt continue his passion for extorting money for keeping secrets.  Good thing they found it, because Bethany’s parents went to a judge to have Spencer’s bail revoked in order to send her back to jail. This eventually sends Spencer and Emily to Jason DiLaurentis to persuade him to tell the truth that his father would not tell about Ali’s whereabouts on Thanksgiving Day.

Ezra has purchased The Brew and seems to be converting it into a coffee and book nook. It’s here that Ezra invites Mike to come assist him with his bookshelves so that he can ask him how he is dealing with Mona’s death.  Mike is not in a sharing mood, which prompts Ezra to share the most insightful statement of the evening…”You aren’t acting like you lost someone”. Hmmm…Mike what secrets did you and Mona really have? 

Meanwhile, Aria visits Caleb to get help with hacking into Oberlin College’s website to find out why her application was rejected.  She spies Mona’s computer and learns that Caleb’s attempts to break Mona’s codes have failed.  So why, why, why Caleb, would you give Mona’s computer to a technical amateur like Aria!?!?! Of course, it was to give the masked black-hooded-one a chance to “find” Mike’s phone, call Aria to meet him/her at the The Brew, in order to plastic wrap Aria against the wall and steal said computer!!! 

Aria later tells Emily that it was Ali who attacked her and swiped the computer, to which Emily asks, “Are you sure it was Ali?” Aria’s answer, “ Who else could it have been”, let’s us know for sure that Aria is not sure.

Speaking of Emily, let’s all do the happy dance, because Paige left for San Francisco!!! Or did she??? With no tears or I love you(s) at the airport, and Paige acting more sketchy than heartbroken, I wonder if she really got on that plane.  When I watched Jason DiLaurentis watch the hidden camera footage of Mona’s attacker, I immediately thought of Paige, not Ali!

However, Jason confesses that Ali was not with the family during the time that Mona was killed and that it could be his sister in the video. This confession sends Ali to jail for her orange jumpsuit fitting! The girls can move on with their lives now because A is finally behind bars!!!! Absolutely not, because A puts on a fireworks display to end the episode!!! Hanna was right again. You can’t send fireworks from jail!

In typical PLL style we are left with more questions than answers. 

UnAnswered questions of the week:

• How did traces of Mona’s DNA get in Ali’s car? (and when did Ali get a car?
• What kind of temporary assignment is Gabriel Holbrook on? (here-to-fore to be called Detective “ShadyBrook” because he is definitely shady, and more than likely Beach Hottie! [credit to Antuan Beard for the nickname])
• Who are Bethany Young’s parents?
• When will we see a photo of Bethany Young?

Hopefully, we will get answers to these and other questions next week. Until then...keep your friends close and your secrets closer!

East Los High: Season 2 Critique

I had to do a Top 6 for Season 2 of the popular Hulu Original show. I nerded out and went a bit in depth on the characters but I know ELH lovers and addicts won't mind!